Property Rights Aren’t Up for Grabs

TMI to Expand Operations to Nation’s Capital

The Texas Millennial Institute is excited to announce today that operations of the organization will move to Washington, DC. This move comes at a time when there has been a widespread recognition that the spirit of Texas millennials is sorely needed in the nation’s capital. TMI CEO Noelle Mandell said she was “excited at the prospect of pushing the frontiers of Texas all the way to Washington, D.C.” Along with Mandell, TMI COO Dustin Lané said in his statement that he is “hopeful that the Texas empire won’t stop at American borders. Europe is also ready for Texas.”

The success of TMI during its first year of existence is a clear signal that Texas should not only secede from the US but annex the rest of the nation in the process. Chairman of the Board of Directors Clint Townsend was proud of the move. In an email, he wrote that he was pleased “that TMI will vindicate Oscar Wilde’s famous words about Texas, specifically that it is a land of ‘infinite pleasure.’”

TMI leaders have long grown weary of waiting for state officials to start the process of expanding the Texas empire. As such, this private effort offers hope that Texans can do it themselves without waiting for formal political institutions to take the first step.

TMI’s DC headquarters are expected to be located at the corner of Texas & Pennsylvania Ave., which is hoped to make a strong suggestion to the state of Pennsylvania as well. Moreover, the mission of TMI will be slightly modified to reflect its new notions of empire. As a first step, TMI’s newest initiative will focus on bringing real barbeque to the east coast, not any of that stuff they call barbeque from North Carolina.